I’m a Victim of Molestation

I am a 44 year old Hispanic male. I am currently serving a 25 year to life sentence for possession of a fire arm. No crime or commission of a crime, just simple possession. I’m sharing my story in the hopes that it may be used as an instrument for change for what I see occurring today in prisons up and down the State of California.

I’ve been a victim of molestation several times throughout my childhood, and even today I can still remember the time, vividly, as if it was yesterday. I can still see the features of the man, smell his foul breath, and even remember the smell of dampness in the back room of his downstairs apartment. I was 5 years old, he gained my trust by always buying me and the rest of the neighborhood kids ice cream and candy. I still remember being stood on a chair and having my penis in his mouth as he sucked it until it tickled. I remember being this little kid not really understanding why, but knowing something was wrong. Instinctively I remember washing myself over and over again until I was raw. I remember my mother asking me what I was doing, and I could only reply “I have to clean it, mommy”.

My next memory of being molested was when I was 8 years old. This time it was an older neighborhood boy 16 or 17 years old. I remember playing in this abandoned house and being talked into going inside … I was fondled while he masturbated himself to ejaculation .. fast forward … I’m now 10 years old, and at this age I liked to mow lawns, and do odd jobs. I did this to help keep eggs, milk, and tortillas on the table. My mother was divorced and we were going through a rough time. there was a barber shop across the street from our home, I would always go ask the barber if I could sweep up and make a couple of dollars. Sweeping up eventually turned into him sucking my penis every chance he got and giving me hush money. By this time in my life my little brain and body was numb to these molestations.

My last memory of being molested was when I was about 12 years old. He was a priest at the local church, he would pleasure himself by rubbing himself against my little body until he ejaculated on me. he told me I was doing God a great service, all the while giving me money to stay quiet.

Today, I find myself in prison surrounded by these kind of men, men who would corrupt the innocence of a child for selfish pleasure, am I bothered? YES! And what bothers me most is that these people don’t get alot of time, and the time they do get they spend plotting on how to become a better predator. New laws come out every day concerning these child predators, and all they serve is to make them talk about going underground when they get released. While doing their time they are allowed to visit in the visiting rooms where other people’s children are visiting. I heard a story of an inmate’s kid actually being molested in the visiting room. WAKE UP PEOPLE! How does society continue to send these animals to prison and not treat them? This was very hard to share my story because of the vivid surrealistic memory recall of these events in my childhood. Even as an adult I still get flushed when I hear people talk about these types of individuals. Though I must live the rest of my life with these memories, I truly and most sincerely don’t wish for any other child to have to live with the nightmares I do. My name is Paul M. and I am a victim of multiple molestations.

Paul J. Marines
J-09700, 14-223
P.O. Box 409060
Ione, CA 95640

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