What: Drug use, alcohol, marijuana, methamphetamine.

The typical profile I am describing needs to emerge in a way that the typical female can understand as possibly being the very man she is letting live with her right now. I will outline several of the key personality traits to be aware of.

He’s been out of work for at least six months or more, or to never of been gainfully employed in a steady job for a period of more than one year or more.

Prior arrests for things like DUI, Domestic violence) even if never convicted) drug intoxication in public, or other seemingly minor misdemeanor arrests.

This man truly believes he has never really broken the law so to speak, so does not yet realize that he might have substance abuse problem. The personality of the man, as far as he’s concerned is of a common type among the other men he hangs around with, (no red lights flashing that he can see there). The man obviously can not see what is coming at him like a speeding bullet. He has no real intention of hurting another person nor does he see himself as violent, threatening, or a danger to society as a whole. He and the female are alone in the fact that neither of them can see what is really going on that should be of anyone else’s business but their own.

The female trusts him mostly just as she would trust a baby sitter but even a little more, because sex is involved and part of the package. If the females family is not trusting of this man being involved with their daughter it may create a communication breakdown between them which will only strengthen the man’s grip on his new found family.

Why: He really is at a loss as to what he’s doing wrong. He hasn’t hit her yet, “he rationalizes himself”. He has only disciplined the children to the extent of what he him self was objected to as a child I.E. (spanking and yelling). He figured the kids to be brats anyway because they are unusually clingy and cry too much.

He says that he has never hit his own kids or ex-wife/girlfriend, but if the female were to inquire to the ex-wife or girlfriend, she would get a totally different story.

Most of all, this needs to be understood by the female A.S.A.P. This guy with no JOB, NO FUTURE EXPECTATIONS OF A JOB, OR ANY SOLID PLANS, is just using the female for a place to get high, a person to have sex with, and for a place to crash out at until something better comes along or she calls the cops on him for domestic abuse, because more likely that not, as he sees his grip weakening on her he will become abusive toward the children and anyone else that tries to intervene. The shift from Mr. Nice Guy into Mr. Hell on wheels is s subtle that it’ll be too late for the female to do anything about it until it’s too late.

Who: This profile I am describing is who I used to be. I followed this direct root right into prison for the rest of my life. The reasoning behind this writing is because I want the most at risk females to know something about what I did that was so horrible and despicable that I find it very hard not only to have to live the rest of my life knowing that killed my girlfriends 13 month old son Steven.

But just as hard to sit here today and try to explain to you why or how this happened.

This profile needs to be put into the minds eye of these females so that they don’t end up with the poor excuse of the human being that could have committed such an act.

I had several of these types of relationships after my young wife and I separated in 1990. I was 21 and she was 21. For the next three years I tried to hang onto my sanity but I just couldn’t get my act together. After six months of being through hell with my meth use I finally flipped out and tried to kill myself. After several failed attempts at that I just decided to cook my brains on alcohol and acid. These things I intentionally did to myself, however, the damage that was to be caused and the ultimate sins that would cast a shadow of darkness over Stevens family as well as my own were the damages that I can’t pay for with my prison sentence, my freedom, my mental instability caused by having to survive the prison brutality for being a baby killer and any all other collateral damage that my actions caused.

  • Year # 1, after my wife and two children decided that they had had enough of me, was just my trying to regain my youth that had been lost due to me being a teenage father.
  • Year # 2, I spent just trying to get a date or hang out with someone who could tolerate my stupid ass antics.
  • Year # 3, I spent with a new girlfriend named Leann who had a son named Garrit. The relationship was good but her son was too much for me to handle and it caused a lot of problems because I believed Garrit should act as well mannered as my two children. The relationship ended abruptly and I was out on my ass with nowhere to go and my mom was sick of my drinking and pot smoking, so I couldn’t go home.
  • Year # 4, I found a new girlfriend named Charlene she had two sons, one named Alex and the other one named Steven. Steven was the younger of the two, and was the victim of my crime, but Alex also suffered as the result of hi mother not paying attention to him and relying on the string of boyfriends that came in and out of that apartment to raise him.

The end of my last year in society was pure hell. The meth and drinking was totally out of hand and I was not in the mood to be screwed with. Everything was about violence and I was crusin for a brusin. After a six day run on meth Charlene and I were out of drugs and out of vodka so we eventually fell asleep. At about six A.M. the next morning Steven woke up and was crying I tried to get him to stop but he wouldn’t. I was angry and I hit him in the back of the head. He died of a blood clot from a six centimeter skull fracture in the back of his skull. I received a 15 year to life prison sentence after pleading guilty to my crimes.

There is nothing I can say or do to ever bring Steven back, or to take back what I did that day, but if I can somehow get my plans for an advocacy for at risk females off the ground, I would know that Stevens death would not be in vein. I need help to do this project because I can’t do it alone from inside this prison. I want to pursue the very county agency’s that are responsible for keeping people like me out of section 8 housing and out of the lives of females that are just trying to raise their kids the best they can.

My life is not over and never will cease to exist for the cause of VICTIMS AWARENESS PROGRAMS. I am ready and willing to state my project ideas and base my fact on my mistakes in the effort to stop this type of victimization from ever happening again. I hope to hear from all interested parties as soon as possible.

My mailing address is
Mule Creek State Prison
P.O. Box 409060
Ione, Ca 94640
Christopher A. Stewart #J-98422 15-1651

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